Exploring Reggae and exploiting Jamaica. “We Bought a Zoo” is a horrible movie. Rich White People being friends with Black people. Can a girl whup off? Drugs, the real innovation of any social scene. My girlfriend is so good at music that she doesn’t even pursue that. Trust funders descend in packs to places where the dudes can get the hottest sex.
Brad Pitt likes Nick Drake. Garage Rock existed because their old-time equipment sucked. The Black Keys played Bridgestone Arena and likely attracted a Dave Matthews crowd. The IKEA Cafe Set for the Blues – includes beard, guitar, booking contacts.
Staying up late watching fatal race car crashes, and Glen Danzig getting knocked out on video. Sex and Death. Tom Cruise is an action hero named Jack Reacher. George Stephanopoulos is a dick and an obnoxious pug. “Boys Do Fall in Love” by Robin Gibb. “Baby Knows I Like to Be Excited.” Bee Gees were not from this planet, they were from Planet Zorph, the pop planet and came here on a Simon game wearing medallions. The Elites escaping Earth to live a privileged life in Space Moon colony and leave Stephen Hawking behind. Chris is a coffee shop whore now that he doesn’t drink. Plus DON’T MISS our analysis of “Longfellow Serenade” by Neil Diamond, and Chris’ attack on Eric Clapton’s guitar skills.
French Disco Music of Marc Cerrone. Women and Men are not two warring factions. Difference between ovaries and testicles. Gangs running after them with Uzis yelling Boo-yah! That’s all a dong is. The Love Boat. Spring in Tennessee – the hens are exfoliating, the creeks are bulging, the leaves are budding. PUBLIC ENEMY’s “Time Bomb” and MONSTER MAGNET’s “Twin Earth.” Plus Jim Morrison’s “Fat is Beautiful” interview and THE NEWS…
Inside the Chris Crofton Building Biodome. Nando Jones the Mexican boomerang thrower. Making Fresh Pasta Topless. Trouble with the bee hives. Sustainability. I can sustain it all night long. Smoking in the Mosque. Muslims sure are high strung with their Mosques. Sex position called the “Secret Bee Attack.” “The Stinger” – when you drop a piano on your girlfriend. Being careful about Benito Mussolini jokes. Drinking olive oil with Mussolini. “Look at my Sausige!” Geto Boys “I Ain’t With Being Broke.” A report from Chris about SXSW. Plus THE NEWS with Greg… and much more comedy and music.
Never leave your petting zoo alone for two years. Is that The Soup Dragons? Turn it off. We need a Black Keys railroad in Nashville. I think Brooks & Dunn tried it. Hat makers are Milliners. No time but war time to get picky about your cheese. Is “psilocybin mushrooms” redundant? Robyn Hitchcock had sex with two of Chris’ ladies. Gorilla Biscuits. Pot Jolly Ranchers. If Chris smokes pot, he stops, stills stock still and monitors his heart beat. KICKSTARTER SUCCESS! Thank you! Listen to “STREET DOG” from “THELEMA!,” another new track from the Chris Crofton Band record. But first an episode of “AS NASHVILLE TURNS…”
THE SAINT PATRICK’S DAY EPISODE. Leprechaun 6? I still like to keep in my mind that Leprechauns are nice. I don’t want to see “Gandhi Part 3″ either. East Nashville Motherfuckers look like Leprechauns. The Potato Famine. The Nick Cave concert at the Ryman Auditorium was mind-blowingly great. Listen to Cave’s gangster rap version of “Stagger Lee.” Nick Cave and PJ Harvey were an Item for awhile. Explosive sex? Probably not. “Nicholas, the heroin really took you down last night.” “What? What? What happened? ….Did we write any good poetry?” Chris Crofton and the Alcohol Stuntband Kickstarter update for their new record “THELEMA!” Chuck Meade from BR549 says the arrival of coffee on the wide in Europe resulted in the Reniassance. Leonardo Da Vinci on coffee: “Why can’t the mountains fly?” Raphael discusses art with Da Vinci. Da Vinci used a squirting clock to keep his assistants on their toes and working. Episode 3 of “AS NASHVILLE TURNS…” Music from Bill Withers. Plus THE NEWS! And we close the show with the great new Strokes’ single “All The Time.”
Chris starts off in a bad mood, but coffee helps. And then a Jack LaLanne discussion picks things up. A meme acts a carrying unit for cultural ideas. Stop eatin those cinnamon sticks Jack! Music from the Bee Gees. The Bee Gees might as well be Egyptians, their heads are different, their voices are strange. Which tennis balls are bouncier, Beyonce or Timberlake? Wayne Coyne is everywhere all the time. He was on Cribs and Pimp My Ride. Beyonce is courageous because she shows herself without makeup. Give me Amelia Earhart! And a Chris Crofton and the Alcohol Stuntband Kickstarter Update. Plus THE NEWS (caffeinated sushi, people sucking beer from gas pumps).
The Kickstarter Episode! Chris and the Alcohol Stuntband are working to raise $5,000 to release on vinyl “THELEMA!,” a brand new 10-track LP. Listen to “Country Living,” one of those new tracks. Also in this episode we’ve got more music from Suzi Quatro – “Devil Gate Drive,” the real philosophy of Beaver Hunt, another great edition of “AS NASHVILLE TURNS…” and the THE NEWS.
Another edition of “AS NASHVILLE TURNS…” Sweetie Pies, the hottest coffee drink in East Nashville. The Gingerbread Village Directory. Having a huge fantasy mustache when your 24. Storing toilets in the weeds so can shit around town. Kale Shoes. Drew’s Brews Coffee and music from Suzi Quatro.
Setting your Quadraphonic Sound System correctly. Calibrating your clock radio. Getting woken up with an accordion-arm boxing glove and/or a chicken. Being so depressed you can’t get up. The Blade Runner Blasts His Girlfriend Through the Door. “I Win the Olympics Bitch!” Music from Nick Drake’s friend John Martyn “Fairy Tale Lullabye,” and music from Kate and Anna McGarrigle “Talk to Me of Mendocino.” Plus The News…. and much, much more.
What Makes Nashville the “It” City? Chris Explores. And the introduction of a new CCS series “AS NASHVILLE TURNS…” Plus Hot Yoga and Trucker Talk. Passion Pit: Hold up your cell phones and wet your pants. Soy Boys. No truckers use CBs anymore. Analysis of Kai “the hitchhiker” tapes. A celebrity for two seconds and spouting self-help slogans. 98% of all beat downs occur in orchards. Plus music from Agitpop “Straight Through to Nashville,” Unreleased Nirvana, Michael Azerrad’s “Come As You Are,” The NEWs and more…
Breaker Breaker 1-9. It’s the TRUCKER EPISODE of The Chris Crofton Show! Lot Lizards. Tire Irons. Going to Vegas at the White House. Trucker Talk. Ginger Baker. A million dollars and nothing to do but buy an ostrich. On drugs and making bad decisions. Little known facts about “Pulp Fiction,” “Pure Love” by Ronnie Milsap and “White America” by Eminem. Plus Weird News by Greg and much, much more.
Eagles lay down fascist rock ‘n’ roll. Danny Brown Likes Chief Keef, who plays gigs four hours late then can’t speak during an interview with The New York Times. Shitting in public. Rock from the 1990s, including Jon Spencer Blues Explosion and Dickless. Plus Greg brings THE NEWS…
Don Henley gets a table saw and stalls (the) Eagles’ record for 10 months. DMX talks about (from jail) how beautiful Arizona was before he got arrested. Chris finds another great track from Tom T. Hall. The News brings word of a huge gold nugget found in Australia. All that and much more. Listen to Episode 119 now FOOLS!
THINK-HOP. Chris raps to dub-step beats from a parrot! Don’t miss it. PLUS ….Nashville is the new Seattle minus the money. The popular creeps are now making the records. DMX continues to be a guiding light of the show. Phone call with a fan who worked for one day at Sea World. He found the show through “Trash Humpers” a Harmony Korine movie that Chris has a part in. And finally…. The News with Greg.
DMX moves to Nashville to live next to Mr. Johnny Depp. The New York Times can’t get enough of our town. And Chris rails against American’s oblivity to what really matters, things like civil liberties and the ongoing war in Afghanistan. Greg’s back with The News with items on Jimmy Kimmel, Vladimir Putin and Gerard Depardieu. Show closes with “Ann” by David Gates from Bread.
Happy Holidays! Chris says “Merry Whatever” and tells other yuletide tales.
Climb 172 feet and hang with high divers before they take the plunge into a frigid whale tank. Chris analyzes the high diving competition broadcast on ABC’s Wide World of Sports in 1983. Cargo Cults and John Frum, and music from Rodriguez, the musician featured in the acclaimed documentary “Searching for Sugar Man,” music from Tom T. Hall, an update on The Black Keys’ ‘El Camino,’ The News from Greg and much more…
Greg’s back from the Dominican. He tells his SCUBA story, where his leg started burning 40 feet deep. We talk bigfoot hunting TV shows, Nick goes to Gatlinburg to get a corncob pipe. We play Tom T. Hall’s great “I Couldn’t Live in California,” talk gambling and roulette, we have a segment with Rick Dees and crank phone calls, play some Christian rock band called “Audio Adrenaline,” 45 Grab Bag brings Wire’s “I am the Fly,” talk about the mystery of Big Head Todd and the Monsters, and wrap things up with Interpol, The Strokes, Roger Ailes, Dick Morris, Karl Rove and the News with Greg….
Episode 113 — Greg is scuba diving in the Dominican Republic. Joe is on location in North Korea trying to interview some Crofton Show fans. Danielle OD’d on Tylenol PM, Marcus Mumford plays some songs in studio, Peanuts Thanksgiving, and some weird news. Road Music, Gang of Four, Soap Opera Music. We got two bells fools!
Terry Melcher lets Charlie Manson in the door to play some demos, Bee Gees, Black Sabbath Live 1970 from Paris, Harper Valley PTA, Karl Rove ‘calls’ the election, Obama wins a second term = Chris is happy, The News by Greg and more …
The Halloween Episode, Geto Boys, Cramps, Deckguns, Rockabilly takeover, Forty Five Grab Bag, the News by Greg and more….
1920s Bar Pick up, Injure your johnson at the Parthenon, 45 Grab Bags, Blind man gets tased on the way to a UK pub, Mitt Romney is a great ribbon cutter, vintage Halloween movie trailers and music from David Gates, Tanya Tucker, George Jones and more….
70′s bar pickups at the Pink Pussycat, facial hair, Public Enemy, Slick Rick, R. Kelly, Romney debates Romney, and East Nashville hipsters wouldn’t know a good breakfast on Dickerson Pike if it hit them in the v-neck.